Scott Pilgrim's Precious Little Fatherhood
by WeAretheStarlight
Summary: Scott Pilgrim has been battling Ramona's Evil Exes, but now that it's over, he can live normally...until another obstacle comes knocking. Literally. This obstacle, Scott realizes, is different: It's the son he never knew he had. Will Scott embrace fatherhood for a son who hates him? Can Scott handle challenges that will force his relationships to change? Set two years after Vol. 6.
1. Paradise

**Disclaimer: I do not own the ****_Scott Pilgrim _****series. Only Scott's son. **

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><p><em>She loves me...I <em>know_ she does. She tells all the time. But every night, her eyes look weird...like she wants to forget me. And sometimes, I want to forget me, too._

Gripping the straps of the backpack that sat on his shoulders, he stepped off of the coach bus and onto a grimy sidewalk in Toronto. The bitter air attacked his face, and the pale sunlight added to his depressed but anxious demeanor. A surge of nausea took over him; it wasn't too late to turn back around and head back home, was it?

As if on cue, the bus rolled away, and he thought otherwise. Crap.

Reaching into his hoodie pocket with clammy hands, he rummaged through gum and candy wrappers until he found it: A crumpled, folded piece of paper. He fumbled the paper with tense fingers until he was able to unfold it. And when he did, he eyed the address in his scrawled handwriting, trying to commit it to memory.

_This is why I'm here. To meet her "biggest mistake." To know why she acts so... _gone_ when I'm around her sometimes._

He stuffed the address back into his pocket, and sighed. Why didn't he think this through? Ever since she told him about Toronto, he was obsessed with going there. She constantly turned him down whenever he brought the topic to her attention, saying that the past wasn't something she wanted to dig up. So when he saw the same cloudy mix of confusion and regret that frequented her eyes last night, he packed his backpack, wrote her a note, and took the bus to Toronto the next morning to get to the bottom of it. For both their sakes.

But _dreaming_ of coming to Toronto and actually _being_ there were two completely different things. He stood unmoving on the sidewalk, overwhelmed by everything and everyone. He was never truly alone in his life before. There was always someone there he knew and trusted. And now there was no one. The world suddenly felt _huge_, and he felt as imperceptible as a grain of sand.

_You can do this. _He told his frantic heart and whirling mind. _You _need _to. There's a lot you want to know, and she won't tell you. But first..._

There was _no_ way he could make it to the address on the paper without _some_ help. He wouldn't even know which way was _up_ if the sky wasn't over his head. He looked up at the line of shops behind him. One of the employees _had_ to know something about the address..._had_ to know which direction to steer him in...Right?

With an unstable breath, he pulled open a shop door; the little bells tied to it clattered against a dirty window pane, notifying someone of his presence.

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><p>Scott Pilgrim sighed contentedly and rolled over in bed, eyes closed, seeking the warmth of his longtime girlfriend, Ramona Flowers. He untangled his arms from the sheets, reaching out to her side of the bed...only to find out that she was <em>missing<em>.

Missing. Ramona was missing _again_.

Spreading his hands along the cold, empty sheets, Scott's panic increased, his eyes flew open. His mind flashed back to anything that he might've said or have done lately to upset Ramona. He couldn't think of _anything_. Was that a good thing? A bad thing?

"Ramoooooonnnnnaaaa..." Scott called out, partially in a panic, and partially because the bed was too comfortable to get out of to find her. "Raaaaaaaammmmmmoooooonnnnnnaaa..."

There was no response, and Scott sat up in his linen paradise. Where _was _Ramona, anyway? Scott wanted to cuddle, _badly_; that was just another side effect of his Ramona Flowers addiction. Ever since he defeated The League of Evil Exes two years ago, Scott found it difficult to keep his hands off of Ramona, wanting to be close to her, wanting to never let her go, wanting to make up for lost time. Call him clingy, but he truly loved Ramona for everything that she was, and he loved showing it. Ramona was finally _his_.

"Raaaammmyyyy..." Scott drawled on, "Raaaaaammmmmmmyyyyyyy..." Where was his little flower? He smiled when finally he heard quick footsteps on the hardwood floor.

"_Geez_, Scott!" Ramona appeared at the doorway of their bedroom in nothing but her black, lacy bra and panties, out of breath. Her hair was dyed a dark purple, and Gideon the cat brushed himself against her leg. In her hands were two mugs. "I thought you were _dying_! Dude, I was just making us tea!"

"Ooh, tea!" Scott beamed, ignoring the fact that he nearly scared Ramona half to death. He reached out for one of the mugs, and Ramona placed one in his hands.

Ramona couldn't help but smile at her boyfriend's childish reaction. "You worry me sometimes, Pilgrim." She joined Scott on the bed, watching him blow the steam wafting from the mug's rim before taking a sip.

"So..._Good_." Scott guzzled more of the tea, the warm herbal liquid adding to his feeling of paradise. Why was everything so _perfect_?

"We both have the day off." Ramona teased, running a hand along Scott's bare arm. "_Finally_. What do you want to do?"

Scott's arm tingled from Ramona's touch. It's been forever since he started dating Ramona, and she _still_ gave him butterflies. And chills. He drank some tea to warm himself back up. "Um...W-We could...uh..." His cheeks burned as warmly as the mug in his hands.

"Let's go out to dinner...We haven't done that in a while." Ramona tasted the tea she made, giving Scott a sly smile, "That's—"

"OBJECTION!" Scott slammed the mug on the nightstand beside him so forcefully that the ceramic nearly broke.

There was a pause; Ramona stared at Scott with a bewildered look on her face.

Scott pretended not to notice. "...I have a better idea." He gently took the mug from Ramona and set it beside his. He wrapped his arms around her and they both fell back on the bed together.

Ramona chuckled, caught in Scott's embrace, her head on his chest. "Your idea _is _better!" She received a feathery kiss from Scott on the corner of her mouth. Gideon the cat hopped onto the bed, as if to join them.

"Yes! I knew it!" Scott was _such _a Ramonaholic; he could hold Ramona in his arms all day. For eternity, even. And he was planning to do that when the doorbell to his apartment rang. Shit.

Who could ruin a moment like this?

The person at the door was knocking, now, the constant sound echoing through the walls.

"Aren't...you going to answer the door?" Ramona said irritably, looking up at Scott.

"Do I have to?" Scott whined over another ring of the doorbell, "Maybe they'll just go away." He had everything he could want right now, and the last thing he wanted to do was to give it up to answer the door. Trouble in paradise.

The knocking on the apartment door continued, more urgent and desperate.

Ramona sighed. "Get the door, Scott." She muttered through gritted teeth.

"Fine." Scott took his arms away from Ramona and slid off of the bed. He muttered a string of obscenities as he went through the mounds of clothes on the floor, searching for his shirt. He found it, pulling it over his chest and boxers before stomping out of the room like a little boy.

"I'm coming...I'm coming." Scott called out as he approached the front door. To his exasperation, the person kept up their combination of knocking and ringing the doorbell. Reaching the door, Scott yanked it open to see a young boy with a mop of auburn hair wearing a hoodie and backpack. The boy was eyeing him expectantly with large, round eyes. "Uh...hi."

"Hi. Are you...Scott Pilgrim?" The boy asked, his tone was quiet and had a bit of a deadpan to it.

This boy was weird, and Scott didn't know how to react. Why was the boy here, standing on his doorstep, requesting to see him? Did the kid get lost on the way back from school? No...He couldn't have. It was Saturday. And kids didn't have school on Saturdays, right? Maybe he was one of those kids going door-to-door trying to sell things. Yeah, that had to be it. "Yes, I am...And if you're here to sell me cookies or whatever, I just bought a box the other day—" Scott was in a rush to get back to Ramona, to get back to his paradise. He began to close the door when the boy said something to make his heart nearly stop:

"Wait. Don't. I-I'm Sam. Your son." The boy continued to study Scott, and there was a pleading in his eyes that he didn't show on his face.

_Son_!? Scott paled, and his breath quickened. Son. He had a _son_!? He put his face in his hands. "OhhhhhhhhmmmmmyyyyyyyGodddddd..." His paradise was falling to pieces faster than he could glue it back together. "OhhhhhhmmmmmmyyyyGoddddd..."

The boy, Sam, tilted his head and watched Scott's anguish play out before him.

_This _has_ to be a dream. _Scott panicked, _I'm going to open my eyes, and the kid's going to disappear_. He cautiously took his hands from his face to see Sam still standing before him, and he wanted to cry. What would Ramona think? Would she hate him and run away? Scott didn't know the first thing about taking care of a child. _Maybe I'm on one of those prank shows_? He looked over Sam's head, observing the space around the door. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

"You're okay...Right?" Sam asked slowly.

_No_. Scott wanted to scream, _I'm not okay_. He took the time to study Sam, trying to find pieces of himself. He recognized Sam's eyes, ears, and the awkward, nearly bow-legged way he was standing with hands in his hoodie pockets as his own. _He's not lying...He really _is _my son._ But there were other features that he found familiar. Familiar in the worst way possible. "Y-Your mom...Y-Your m-m-om isn't..._Natalie Adams_...is...is it?" His voice was hoarse, and his knees trembled. If Sam's mom was _Envy_...

Sam opened his mouth to reply, when the phone began to ring inside the apartment.

Of _course_. "I'm going to get that. Stay here? Yeah...uh...Stay here." Scott told Sam before closing the door and rushing back inside. This phone call had better be important. He snatched the phone off of the little table it sat on, pressed the button to stop the ringing, and held it up to his ear. "Hello?"

"Scott!" Wallace's voice chimed on the other end. He then gasped, "You have a _son_? How old is he? And more importantly, who is his mom? You know his mom, right?"

Scott face-palmed. That was just like Wallace, the first to know any kind of gossip. "W-Wallace...How did you...? Ugh. Nevermind. Yeah...He says his name's Sam. And...I don't know how old he is...Somewhere between eight and ten?" He took a breath. "I don't know _who_ his mom is, okay? I was just about to ask that when—"

A beeping noise interrupted Scott, signaling another call.

"Hold on, Wallace. I'm getting another call..." Scott took the phone from his ear and pushed the button to switch calls. He put the phone back up to his ear. "Hello?"

"OH MY GOD, SCOTT!" Stacey Pilgrim said, "You have a _son_...Named Sam? And you don't know his mom? How could you _not_ know? It's not Ramona? You are in _so _much trouble!" Scott winced from his sister's shrill voice. "You know what this means? I'm an auntie! I don't know whether to be excited or grossed out! Being an auntie makes me feel so _old_, and I'm _younger _than you..."

_I should really stop telling Wallace stuff_. The thought went through Scott's mind.

"Ooh! Wait til mom and dad hear this! And Lawrence! And Ramona—" Stacey went on, excited.

Scott nearly fainted. The entire _world_ was going to know about him and his son. "Stacey, _no_! Please! I'll tell them myself..._Please_! Just let me—"

Stacey hung up, and Scott's heart sank.

"What's going on?" Ramona's voice startled Scott.

Scott practically threw the phone back on the receiver. He turned around to face Ramona, who was now wearing a purple shirt, black hoodie, black skirt, and black leggings. "Um...I-I don't know, Rammy...B-But I promise to tell you...a-as soon as I do..." He blurted out the words before he could think about them. What happened to 'I'm okay'? Or 'nothing'?

"Right." Ramona whispered, a look of concern on her face, "Well...I'll be waiting for you when you get back..."

Scott dashed off to the door, hoping Sam didn't run off. He opened it to find Sam just how he left him. Phew.

"I don't know who 'Natalie Adams' is." Sam said, and Scott breathed a sigh of relief. "My mom's Kim Pine."

Scott began to panic again. He felt feverish. _OhGodOhGodOhGodOhGod...I had a baby with _Kim_!?_

"_Wha_...?" Scott searched for words. Now that Sam mentioned it, he _did _have a "Kim Pines vibe." He had her hair color, her nose, her shadowy freckles, and her "I-could-care-less" tone. "How...How old are you?"

"Ten." Sam replied.

_Ten_. Scott's mind went back ten years, thinking back to times where it could've been possible to conceive Sam. And then it hit him: He and Kim were both sixteen when they lost their virginity to each other in the backseat of Kim's car. Scott didn't have a condom at the time, but he and Kim had thought they'd be together forever and they proceeded. He recalled the low music drifting from the car radio and the itchy blanket that was draped over them. The way he felt the heat of Kim's body underneath his own. The clumsy fumbling. The way he made sure to kiss every freckle on her skin. The way his hands traveled along her every curve, the sweet smell of her hair, the soft kisses and light moans—

"Do you need to see a doctor? Your face is all red." Sam noted, bringing Scott back to reality.

Scott cleared his throat. "N-No...I'm fine..." He avoided the skeptical look of the ten-year-old, "You must be hungry, eh? W-Well I'll...I'll make you something!" He crammed the steamy memory in the back of his mind.

Sam nodded slowly and Scott stepped aside to let him into the apartment.

Scott stood at the door, dizzy with questions. How did Kim hide Sam for all of these years? Why didn't she just tell Scott about him? What brought Sam here, out of the blue? Is he having trouble at home? How was Scott going to tell Ramona? What was going to happen between him and Kim?

_Kim_. The thought of her name made Scott shudder and filled his body with a kind of warmness that he never felt before. He had to admit, that the memory of them ten years ago was the first time he thought about Kim in months. And with that memory, some of the feelings he had for her back then resurfaced. _I can't be having feelings for Kim...I'm with Ramona. Ramona! What do I do? What do I _do_?_

Scott closed the door of the apartment, and locked it behind him. He then locked eyes with Sam, who was watching him from the middle of the short hallway beyond the door. He and Ramona would have to take a raincheck on their cuddle session.

Paradise never lasted long for Scott Pilgrim.


	2. Differences

"Sam." Scott muttered thoughtfully, "Sam Pine. Sam Pilgrim. _Samuel _Pilgrim. Sammy?"

The ten-year-old watched Scott anxiously, puzzled as to why Scott kept saying his name. There was nothing wrong with it, was there? "Yes?"

Scott focused on Sam, blushing. "Huh? Oh...I-I wasn't t-talking to...I w-was just...Let me take your hoodie!"

Sam nodded as he shrugged off his backpack and put it up against one of the hallway's walls. He slowly unzipped his hoodie and handed it to Scott, who hung it on a nearby coat rack. He took off his sneakers and left them at the door, then turned to Scott for further instructions.

"Awesome shirt." Scott said, gesturing to his son's t-shirt with a grin, "Pikachu?"

Sam glanced at the yellow Pokémon on his shirt before looking back up at Scott. "Uh-huh."

There was an awkward pause afterward, and Sam wasn't sure what to do or what to say. What if he told Scott that Pikachu was his favorite Pokémon? That he dressed up as Pikachu for every Halloween? No. His mother had warned him about talking to strangers. And Scott was a stranger, right? Instead, Sam stared at Scott until Scott awkwardly turned away and continued down the hall.

Little feet followed Scott further into the apartment, their socks sliding every so often across the hardwood floor in an attempt to catch up with his long strides.

Sam entered the tiny kitchen after Scott, tossing his body into one of the kitchen table chairs. He decided to imitate his mother and began to drum a beat on the little wooden table while Scott poked his head into cabinets in search of food.

"Uh...How about cereal? You eat cereal, right?" Scott spoke up, closing a set of empty cabinets, glancing back at Sam for approval.

Sam stopped his drumming and lifted an eyebrow. "No pancakes?"

"Pancakes?" Scott repeated in surprise. He mouth dropped open slightly. "Pan...cakes?"

"Mom _always_ makes pancakes." Sam said as-a-matter-of-factly, crossing his arms.

"She...Does?" Scott let out a nervous chuckle, his face growing red.

"You're weird." Sam commented, returning to his drumming. Scott turned back around abruptly to search the cabinets.

"Aha!" Scott yelled finally, taking out a small bowl, and a cereal box out of a cabinet. He filled the bowl with the cereal, and milk from the fridge before finding a spoon and serving it to Sam.

Sam stared at the bowl of fruity cereal in front of him and frowned. No pancakes. He missed his mom already. "Thanks."

Scott took a seat across from Sam, watching the ten-year-old intently. "So...Last time I heard from Kim...I-I mean...your mom, she was back in Northern Ontario. How is she?"

Sam looked up from the soggy cereal, catching Scott's eyes with his own. "She's okay." _Mostly. She's really sad sometimes..._

"O...kay...And she let you come all the way to Toronto by yourself? Does she...does she know you're here? H-How'd you even get here?"

Sam sighed, annoyed with Scott's questions. "I...left mom a note. I took the bus." _I hope mom's not really mad. _

"Why?" Scott asked, his voice almost a whisper.

Sam took time to scarf down more of the cereal, trying to piece together an appropriate response. He couldn't find one, so he shrugged. There were a lot of reasons why, some more obvious than others, but he just didn't feel comfortable enough around Scott to tell him _everything_. He didn't trust Scott, or know much about him except for the negative rants his mother went on some nights. And because his mother didn't like Scott (for reasons he didn't understand at his age), he learned not to like him as well.

Just then, there were the sound of footsteps entering the kitchen, and Sam saw a woman with purple hair who wore purple and black, and a gray cat with black stripes that trailed behind her. The woman and Sam both stared at each other with blank expressions, trying to make sense of each other's presence.

"Hey, Scott." The woman greeted, giving Scott's shoulder a rub. She then gave Sam a little smile. "Who's your friend?"

Scott began to panic. "Uh...Well...R-Ramona, this is Sam. Sam, this is Ramona."

_Ramona_? Sam tilted his head. _I heard that name before_.

"Hey, Sam." Ramona said, her smile growing wider.

"Hi." Sam mumbled cautiously. There was something about Ramona that made him...angry. He swirled the milk in his bowl with the spoon, thinking for a moment, and then remembered his mother's words:

"..._And that _Ramona! _That _—_Cover your ears, Sam—_!_ She had the nerve to swoop in and take Scott away from me like a—Ears, Sam!—I can't believe we were even friends! I hate her!_

The cat hopped up on the table, to Sam's surprise, breaking through his thoughts. It nuzzled itself against Sam's arm and walked over to the middle of the table where it stretched and began to sleep.

"And that's Gideon." Scott motioned to the cat.

Sam observed Gideon with a bit of awe; he wanted a dog back home, but his mother refused, telling him that he wouldn't take care of it. But if he took care of Gideon, maybe he could—

"So where are you from, Sam?" Ramona asked in an overly-polite tone, "Did you come here by yourself?"

Sam was about answer when Scott groaned, his face in his hands.

"Uh...Scott?" Ramona's voice was mixed with concern, "What's wrong? You've been acting so..."

Scott looked up from his hands and grinned at Sam. "Hey...Sam! Why don't you go and watch TV? The remote's on the couch."

Sam glanced behind Scott at the living room. It was nearly empty except for the couch and TV. He knew Scott was just trying to get rid of him so he could talk to Ramona in private. The same thing happened at home, whenever his mother had his grandparents over. He got up from the table without a word and walked over to the living room, where he sat on the couch and turned on the TV.

Scott and Ramona's voices were barely heard over the cartoon Sam settled on, but he heard just enough to get the gist of the conversation:

"What the hell, Scott...So you're telling me that Sam is your..._son_?!"

"...Kim and I...before I met you..."

"...A-And he just shows up out of nowhere...? How do you...?"

"He's mine, Ramona. I can feel it..."

"Sooner or later...Kim...here..."

"I know. I'm letting him stay until then, Rammy..."

"...So what are we supposed to do, Scott? What are _you _going to do?"

Sam couldn't hear anything else but the TV now, and he felt horrible for traveling far and dropping in Scott's life like he did. He belonged at home, surrounded by people he knew. Not complete strangers. He curled up on the couch, homesick and afraid, hating how everything was so...different.

Gideon the cat suddenly scampered into the room from the kitchen and joined Sam on the couch.

Sam reached out and stroked Gideon's fur, chuckling when the cat snuggled against his hand. "Hey, kitty...You want me here, do you?"

"Meow." Gideon replied, staring at Sam with his large, bright eyes.

"Then I'll stay." Sam whispered, a faint smile on his face. At least someone enjoyed his company.

Gideon purred.


	3. Blindsided

_You gotta be kidding me. This has to be a nightmare. That's the last time I eat garlic bread before bed. _Ramona was in shock. She knew Scott was a weird kid with a lot going on, but she didn't expect him to have a _son_. An actual son. Who's _ten_. With _Kim. _She felt like she was going to throw up; how did Kim keep Sam a secret for all these years? How could she?

"...I don't know what I'm going to do...but Sam's my...my...son. I could at least show him how _awesome _of a dad I can be. At least until Kim shows up." Scott grinned, and Ramona wanted to slap the smile off of his face. He chose a horrible time to suddenly be responsible for something.

"L-Look...Scott...I..." Ramona's voice trailed off. She could tell Scott was enjoying the prospect of having Sam around; she practically saw the wheels turning in his head as he thought up of things for him and Sam to do. Oh, what the hell. She couldn't take this much longer. She was going to speak her mind: "Scott...How are things between you and Kim?"

Scott blushed, and Ramona wasn't quite sure what to make of it, "Things? What things? I-I don't know about any...things. We're okay, I guess? I mean...she doesn't hate me. At least, not more than she usually does."

"Right..." Ramona said suspiciously, but she continued, "We need to get Sam on the next bus out of here. How do you think Kim feels, thinking that her son is missing? This isn't right..." _For us. _She thought, _this isn't right for us, Scott. I want to be with _you. _Not you and your son. Just you. _

"Rammy, I'm sorry, but—"

Ramona could feel tears rising in her eyes. Why was Scott so adamant on taking care of another woman's child? Wasn't she enough? What if he still liked Kim and wanted to get to know Sam better, so he could ditch Ramona and start a family with Kim? Was it easier for Scott to do that? Because he didn't have to fight evil exes or—

"Please don't kill me!" Scott ducked away, his arms raised in defense, "I'm too young and awesome to die!"

"Do you even know how to take care of a child?!" Ramona shrieked. She was too overwhelmed to hide her emotions. She was not going to be cast aside for...Kim. Not if she could help it. She'd fight to the death.

Scott thought about Ramona's question for a moment. "Um...well...you have to feed them, and walk them—"

"Grrr...No, Scott!" _Why are you so stupid sometimes?! _Ramona wanted to strangle her boyfriend, "Forget it! We can just send Sam home..."

"Wash, rinse, and repeat?" Scott ignored Ramona. "No...That's not it..."

"We can't do this...You don't know the first thing about being a dad...We don't have enough money to take care of Sam, let alone us, and—"

"Dude, we'll be fine! Don't worry about it! I'll just borrow some money from Wallace—" Scott grinned again, and it made Ramona furious. Life wasn't some video game that you could turn off when you didn't feel like playing, or when things weren't ideal. Life was serious, and cruel...

Ramona stormed out of the kitchen and into the living room where Sam was peacefully asleep on the couch with Gideon curled up beside him. She eyed the ten-year-old bitterly, debating on whether she should drag him out of the house or not. He just had to come in and screw up her perfect life.

Before Ramona could register what she was doing, her hand was on Sam's shoulder and she was shaking him awake. _Get _up! Get_ up_!

Gideon was the first one to wake up, and he bounded off the couch and into another room of the house. Sam stirred, mumbling something.

"Hey, Sam." Ramona whispered through clenched teeth, trying her best to sound polite, "Sammmm...Sammmm...Wake uppppppp..."

Sam's eyes slowly fluttered open, and he looked dazed. "...But...But our princess is in another castle..."

"What?" Ramona snapped, confused. Great. Sam was just as weird as his dad. Just great.

"Wh-What?" Sam sat up quickly, his red hair a mess. He wiped drool from his cheek, scanning the room before focusing on Ramona with a frown.

"Hi, Sammy." Ramona put on her best smile.

"Only my mom calls me Sammy." Sam pouted, "Go away! No one likes you."

Ramona's mouth dropped open at the boy's words. "Ex-Excuse me?" _Woah...What the fu—_

"Leave me alone."

Ramona didn't know where Sam's anger was coming from. She didn't do anything to him...Besides wake him up. Maybe Sam was one of those people who hated being woken up. Yeah, that was it. "I'm sorry for waking you up, Sam. If that's the reason why you're mad at me, I—"

Sam shook his head, and his scowl deepened. "WHAT PART OF 'LEAVE ME ALONE DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND'?!"

Scott came racing into the room, glancing from Ramona to Sam in bewilderment. Ramona saw that Scott's eyes were red and puffy; he had just been crying.

_Is everyone in this house crazy?! _Ramona thought, silently cursing Sam for making such a scene.

"S-Sam...Ramona, what happened?" Scott demanded.

"Oh hey, Scott." Ramona tried her best at being casual, "I was just...I...Sam here..." She actually didn't know what happened. Was she trying to throw Sam out on his ass? Or talk to him? Was she looking for whatever the hell it was that made him more special than her?

Scott looked past Ramona at his son, and Ramona followed his gaze.

Sam was sulking, his face was red, and he was breathing heavily. His arms were crossed and he seemed to sink into the couch. He kept his eyes on the floor.

"You okay over there, Sam?" Scott wondered innocently. When Sam didn't answer, he pressed further. "Hey buddy—"

"Stop. Stop it, okay?!" Sam screamed, "...I want to go home...I hate both of you!" He got up from the couch and stomped in the direction of the front door.

Scott gave Ramona a confused glance, then frowned at her. "What did you do?" He looked hurt and worried, and all Ramona wanted to do was hug him.

"Scott...I didn't...I..." Ramona stammered, her mouth opening and closing. What could she have said? It wouldn't have changed anything.

"Sam!" Scott called after his son, dashing off to where he had gone, "Sam!"

_Scott cares about some kid he just met more than he cares about me. _Ramona, all alone, gave into her feelings and cried. Warm tears wet her face, and she was sobbing loudly. She felt ashamed and childish. _I can't believe I'm jealous of a ten-year-old. _


	4. Loneliness

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait, everyone! Life has been crazy. I'm making a slow return to updating**,** so I apologize for the short chapter. Please enjoy!**

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><p><em>Dear Mom,<em>

_ Please don't hate me. I went to Toronto to see Scott Pilgrim. _

_I wanted to know why he's your biggest mistake and why you stare at me_

_ like you do. Is it because of him? You wouldn't tell me and I had to know. _

_Don't worry, I've been saving my allowance so I can take a bus! I'll be really _

_careful and I won't talk to strangers. And I'll be good. Promise. I'll come back _

_when I get to know more about Scott. I'm __super__ sorry. _

_ I love you and I miss you, _

_ Sammy_

Kim Pine nearly tore the note from her son in half, but slapped it on the kitchen counter instead. She began to hyperventilate. Her Sammy. Her little Pikachu. In Toronto. Alone! "Shit..._Shit_! O-Oh my God...This can_not _be happening...This has to be a joke! What the hell were you _thinking_, Sam!?"

She was in the process of taking the pancake mix out of the pantry like she did every morning (she swore Sam lived on the power of pancakes alone) when she saw the note taped to its door. Rereading it until the penciled letters faded from her sweaty grip, she thought she was going to pass out. It wasn't like Sam to leave her side; he was shy when surrounded by people he didn't know, and he enjoyed her company more than anything.

This was all Scott's fault. Again. Kim hated to admit it, but Scott nearly destroyed her when Ramona skated her little ass into his heart. She was jealous of his obsession with her and the dedication he fought for her with. There were plenty of times Kim wanted to tell Scott about the "little bundle of joy" she was hiding from him. Wanted to tell him how hard it was to actually give birth. How hard it was to sleep with a baby screaming its lungs out in the next room. How hard it was to look at, hold...even _love_ a baby that reminded her so much of the boy she hated for walking away from her. And she let it happen!

Now her son was walking away from her, too. It took Kim a while to get used to Sam, to the idea of her son being half of **Scott Pilgrim**. And some nights it haunted her. She would look at Sam from time to time, and all she would see was Scott. Then the pain of losing Scott would return, and she would sip glasses of wine once her son was asleep to ease it. She loved Sam, how he would give her hugs, tell her jokes, make little smiley faces on her pancakes with chocolate chips when she was having a rough day...and now he was off in Toronto, practically running into Scott's arms. Was Sam okay? Did he see Scott? What was he doing right now? What was Scott's reaction to having a son?

_I was going to tell you about Sam, Scott. Eventually. I didn't want to tell you like this. You hate me right now, don't you? You're not ready to be a father..._

Would Sam forget her?

Kim held onto the kitchen counter to keep her balance. Of course Sam wouldn't forget her! It seemed like a dumb thing to worry about, but what if? There was always a possibility; she could see Scott and Sam bonding over some stupid little video game and leaving her to wallow in her loneliness. Did Sam even want to come back? How long did it take to "know more about Scott"?

_Dammit! I should've told him more. I should've told him!_

What if Scott were to turn Sam against her somehow? And...Ramona. Oh shit! Ramona lived with Scott, didn't she? What if Sam told Ramona all of the things he heard his mother say about her? No. No way.

There was one thing left to do.

Kim stumbled over to the cell phone in the living room and dialed the number of one Scott Pilgrim.

It was time for Sam to come home.


	5. Dilemmas

Scott was nearly out of breath when he got to the front door and pulled it open. Sam had run out of the apartment after his explosion of anger at Ramona, and Scott had underestimated how quick the ten-year-old was. "Sam!" _Crap. Tell me he's still here... _

Sniffles and sobs replied to Scott's thoughts, and Scott looked down to see his son crying in front of the door. A part of him wanted to back up and head back inside. What could he say to make things better, anyway? But he couldn't be an awesome dad if he didn't do anything, either.

_Scott "Awesome Dad" Pilgrim, does _not _run away! _Scott found himself sitting beside his son, awkwardly watching him wipe at his eyes.

"G-Go away." Sam mumbled to his socks.

Scott sighed. The road to fatherly awesomeness was going to be a long one. "Um...What happened back there, Sam? Why did you yell at Ramona like that?"

Sam shook his head in response.

There was a pause between father and son.

"Well...I'm just going to sit here until you start talking, young man." Scott pretended to cross his arms defiantly. Inside he cringed a little; those were words his dad used on him when he was Sam's age and didn't want to talk.

"...Please don't." Sam sounded exactly like his mother. That scared Scott, but he wasn't going to run. He faced worse before, right?

"I will." _Dad points increased by 25!_

"Don't."

"I'm still sitting here." _Defense increased by 3!_

"Leave me alone."

"I'll leave you alone...together." _Attack increased by 40!_

Sam sighed in irritation. "...Fine..."

_Level up! Dad Rank: Not-So-Lame! _Scott grinned. "So...Tell me what's wrong."

"...I...I...I'm sorry." Sam studied the wood grains of the hardwood floor, "I just...mom is always by herself. She's...not okay. And you're here all happy with..._her_." He wrinkled his face at the indirect mention of Ramona.

Scott straightened, panic rising. _So Kim is_...jealous? _Of me and Rammy? And she's "not okay"? Not okay? What does that mean? _He opened his mouth to ask Sam about his mother's well-being, but closed it when he realized that Sam was still talking.

"...Do you know what it's like at home?! I do everything to make mom happy, and all she talks about is you and...and..." Tears bubbled down Sam's cheeks, and he wiped then away with his sleeve. "She looks at me like _that_, and I get really scared that she doesn't love me anymore because you're my dad—" Sam cut his own sentence short as if he'd said too much, and bit his lip.

Holy crap. There was a lot for Scott to take in; he didn't know where to start. Or what to say...if he should say anything in the first place. "I-I'm sorry." Was the only thing Scott could say; his mind was spinning with so many speculations and words he really wanted to say to Kim. To Sam. To Ramona. He wanted to apologize to Kim for leaving her, wanted to ask her if she still had feelings for him, if they could be a family. Maybe. He wanted to hug Sam and apologize for being the dad that no one wants...for being the idiot who only brought him shame. He wanted to tell Ramona...he actually didn't know what he'd say to her. She was like the third wheel on a bicycle: awkward and throwing everything off balance.

Was there a strategy guide for life?

Sam had been completely silent for a while, and Scott glanced over at him to make sure he was all right. The boy stared off into the distance with an expression that made him appear much older.

Since when has life been this difficult for Scott Pilgrim? A part of him wanted to fight Ramona's exes again. At least he could handle each of them at a time. But all of these problems with Kim, her son, and Ramona were overwhelming, to say the least.

_I'll just have to solve one problem at a time...like that top-hat professor guy. _And the first problem was cheering Sam up, somehow...

_I got it_! Scott gave Sam's arm a poke, grinning when his son turned to face him.

"Hey." Scott said finally, his voice a hoarse whisper that startled both him and Sam, "Did you hear the one about Pac-Man?"

Sam blinked. "...What?"

"So you haven't then?" Scott was excited as a little child. He _loved_ telling the Pac-Man story!

"No?"

The phone began to ring from inside the apartment before Scott had a chance to speak.

"Awwwww..." Scott was defeated.

Scott and Sam could hear Ramona answer the phone through the partially open door:

"Hello? Ramona speaking."

Then there was the sound of something clattering on the floor; Ramona had dropped the phone, cursing under her breath.

"SCOTTTTTT! PHOOOONNNEEE!" Ramona shrieked, her voice getting louder as she approached the door where Sam and Scott sat. "It's Kim." She grumbled, with a deadly glow in her eyes, holding the phone out to Scott for him to take.

Scott's eyes grew wide. "K-Kim? Kim _Pine_?"

Sam brightened, failing to hide his eagerness. He eyed the phone as if it was the most expensive thing on the planet.

Ramona growled. "Of course it's Kim Pine! Do you know of any other Kim?"

"Well, actually..."

"Shut up, Pilgrim, and answer the phone."

Scott took the phone from Ramona, reluctantly holding it up to his ear. Ramona turned on her heel and stomped out of sight.

"Um...Hi...It's Scott." Scott said into the receiver. His heart jumbled around in his stomach somewhere as he waited for a response. Was he even breathing?

"...Scott." Kim replied, her voice breathless and tired.

_Scott_. _Scott_. _Scott_. Scott could remember the last time Kim said his name like that, and it ran lightning up and down his spine. Scott's face radiated as he tried to fight the memories of Kim's drunken, horny phone calls when they dated a while back. She would say his name over and over, sounding out every letter...

But she was calling about her son, right? Right.


	6. Closer

**A/N: Thank all of you who stuck around to see this story! I'm sorry I'm taking forever with updates, but I appreciate all of the feedback you guys have been giving me! I suddenly got the motivation to type up this long chapter! Please enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters I have/am going to reference. I just own Scott's son.**

* * *

><p>Scott cleared his throat, ignoring Sam's quizzical eyes on him. "S-Sam's here! Our son?"<p>

Kim sighed. "I know. And...I'm sorry...you had to find out like that."

"Yeah..." Was all Scott could muster. He really wanted to bombard Kim with questions: How were you able to hide a pregnancy the entire time? Why couldn't you just tell me? And why did you name him Sam? Why not Sonic? Sonic's a cool name, isn't it—

"You still there?" Kim asked, and Scott blushed, realizing that he spaced out longer than he wanted to.

"Yeah?" Internally giving himself a slap across the face for his gratuitous use of the word "yeah," Scott took a deep breath. "Sorry. I'm just..."

"Overwhelmed? Freaking out? Ready to bash your head in?" Kim had a talent for getting to the core of Scott's emotions in a couple of sentences, where it would've taken him years to explain them.

"Yea...I-I mean..._yes_. I feel like I'm dreaming. Like..."

"...you're drunk?"

Scott gasped dramatically. His son leaned in closer to him to hear what was going on. "I do _not _drink!" He whispered harshly into the phone's receiver.

"Uh-huh." Kim replied disbelievingly. "Look, I know you're confused. I'm going to tell you everything. Soon. I—"

"How are you? Okay?" Scott spat out in a fit of nervous energy. He began to talk to himself, "So stupid! You were supposed to start off with that, Scott...It's not like you don't care or anything, but all of this stuff came up..."

A chuckle from Kim stopped Scott's rambling completely. "I see you haven't changed. I...I'm alive. So I guess that counts for something. How's my little Pikachu?"

_Little Pikachu_? Scott paused. "Wh-Who? What?"

"Dammit!" Kim cursed; Scott could picture her flustered in embarrassment, the freckles on her cheeks hidden under a layer of red heat, "Sammy! Uh...Sam...! Your son, Scott! Your son!"

_Our son_.

"Wait...So does that make me Ash and you Misty?" Scott kept on the Pokémon line of thought while Sam giggled at him. "Because I always thought they'd get together. N-Not that _we're _together..." _Unless you want us to be_..._Woah_. _I'm still with Ramona_! _Where did_ that_ even come from_?

Kim growled. "Scott! Get off the Pokémon thing, okay? It's just a nickname! How's Sam?"

Scott looked over at Sam, who was beaming at him. "He's fine. Totally okay! What, you thought I couldn't handle—"

"Let me talk to him." Kim sighed. "Please."

"O...Okay." Scott nodded, then passed the phone to Sam. "Here."

Sam practically snatched the phone from Scott's hand and put it up to his ear. "Hello? H-Hi, Mommy." He paused, cowering at Kim's response.

Scott watched his son as he spoke; seeing Sam this shy and vulnerable was something new. A part of him wanted to put his arm around Sam for comfort, but he kept his hands at his sides.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Sam sounded as if he was going to cry again, "I didn't mean to!"

There was a long pause, and Scott wanted to know what Kim was saying. He never saw her take on a maternal role before.

"No. Well...kinda."

Another long pause. Sam flinched at something Kim said, but smiled anyway.

"No pancakes, but they have a cat!" Sam cried excitedly. He gasped. "So does that mean I can get a dog? Please?" His shoulders drooped a few seconds later, "Mommmmmmm...I will! I'm going to name him Kirby and teach him to eat pancakes—"

Kim said something, and as a result, Sam let out an exaggerated sigh.

"Yes, mom." Sam's tone went back to the monotone Scott recognized. "Okay. Yes. Uh-huh. I love you, too." He laughed before hanging up the phone and passed it to Scott.

Scott sat there, dumbfounded. He actually learned more about his son during a phone call than he did since opening the front door for him two hours ago. He thought it was cute how Kim called Sam her "Little Pikachu" and he thought Sam's desire to have a dog was endearing. But all of his thoughts were disturbed by a continuous poke on his arm. Looking up, he caught the eyes of his son who was standing in front of him.

"...Dad?" It sounded as if Sam had been trying to get Scott's attention for a while.

"Wha?"

"...Um...Mom said she's coming here to pick me up. She didn't say when." There was a sadness in Sam's eyes that betrayed the sound of his voice.

"Oh. Okay." Scott said without thinking. He missed so much of his son's life! His first word, his first steps, his likes and dislikes, hopes and dreams...The kid had dreams! Goals! _His _kid. _His _kid had dreams! Goals!

_I have a son. Me, Scott Pilgrim. Ugh, I'm never going to get over that, am I_?_ I'm forever connected to Kim. I'll probably have to wear huge glasses and dad jeans now_...Scott pulled his knees to his chest and began to rock back and forth.

There was an awkward pause where Sam could do nothing but to watch his father lose it. Again.

Scott suddenly screamed, making Sam jump and Ramona run to him from inside the house.

"WHAT?" Ramona yelled, out of breath upon reaching her boyfriend, "IS THE PROBLEM?" Gideon the cat stood at her feet.

"Kim. K-K-Kim's coming here! To pick Sam up! I-I-I haven't seen her since...I'm not ready! I can't face her!" Scott stopped rocking and spread out on the floor. He looked pale and petrified.

Ramona took a breath of a relief. "God! I thought there was an _axe murderer_ out here!"

"It's Kim!" Scott kept saying, "Kim!" He groaned, covering his eyes with the heels of his palms. "It might as well be an axe murderer." He added in a low voice.

"Wh-When is she coming?" Ramona looked anxious all of a sudden, wringing her hands repeatedly.

Without a word, like a scene out of a movie, Scott pointed to Sam, his movement slow and definite.

Sam stepped back when Ramona whirled her head at him, hands up in defense. He shook his head and shrugged sheepishly.

"Of course no one knows!" Ramona threw up her hands and went back into the house, "Give it to _Kimberly Pine_ to make a _dramatic_ entrance!"

Scott bolted upright and turned to Sam. "So, you want a dog?" He asked casually as if nothing happened.

Sam nodded quickly, terrified of Scott's sudden change in mood. "Er...yes. Are you really okay?"

"What kind?" Scott dismissed his son's question.

"A big one!" The youthful excitement returned to Sam's voice. He stood on his tiptoes and held his arm up as high as it could reach. "It's called a...a...Great Dane, I think."

"So...Like...Scooby, then?" Scott vaguely remembered the mystery-solving dog and the green van. He heard somewhere that Scooby-Doo was a Great Dane...

Sam frowned. "What? No! His name's going to be Kirby, like the pink guy? Because I'm going to train him to eat tons of pancakes..."

"I know who you're talking about, but I...never mind." Scott shook his head, not wanting to explain one of the greatest cartoons of his own childhood.

"Can we do something fun? At least until mom comes."

_Fun_?_ What did kids do for fun nowadays_? Scott gulped. "Sure." He got up from the floor.

"Mom told me you play lots of video games." Sam spoke up, the eagerness in his voice obvious.

Video games! Yes! Kids still play video games! "She did, eh? Well...I _could_ show you my collection..." Scott couldn't believe it. He could take Sam under his wing like a video game protégé; like a _Karate Kid_ thing—

"Please? That'd be so awesome!"

Scott chuckled, ruffling Sam's hair. "Okay, okay! Calm down...Pikachu." He then shared a smile with his son. Maybe this "fatherhood" thing wouldn't be as bad as he thought. He and Sam were practically best friends now!

"Lead the way, Ash!"

* * *

><p>It was happening. Ramona stood in the doorway of the living room, shaking her head. The Pilgrim-mageddon. She watched as Scott and Sam sat on the floor in the living room, right in front of the TV, surrounded by boxes, wires, ancient game consoles, game cartridges, and decaying game manuals. Sam was completely absorbed in whatever Scott was telling him. Even Gideon was poking his nose into the boxes beside the pair.<p>

_I'll give Scott an hour before he completely forgets who I am._ Ramona sipped her tea angrily. _I _knew _this was going to happen. _

"What happened to all the buttons?" Sam questioned, tilting the old-school game controller in his hands. "There's only two."

"Two is all you need, young grasshopper." Scott replied cryptically, and Ramona couldn't help but roll her eyes. _Sam's your_ son, _Scott_, _not your Ralph Macchio_!

"'Grasshopper'?" Panic rose on Sam's face, "I-I thought I was Pikachu!"

"You still are. This is training. Like Pokémon."

It was clear that Sam still didn't understand. "Oh...Okay."

Ramona snorted. Watching the boys was like watching paint dry. She decided to go back to the room she shared with Scott and read a book. At least she was doing _something_ intellectual. She finally settled down on the mattress with a thick volume from her favorite mystery series when she heard the "Pilgrimage" going on:

"So...These rocks...are actually games?" Sam kept asking questions.

"Not 'rocks', Inexperienced One. Cartridges." There was Scott milking the sensei lines for all they were worth. "See? This is how they work. There's a little slot on the top of the console..."

"Cool!"

"And..." Suddenly an annoying 8-bit tune filled the apartment. Ramona tossed her book across the room and fell back onto her pillow. What was the point in trying to read during _this_?

"Woah. Games don't look like this anymore!"

Scott's voice grew very solemn. "I know. We have come a long way."

Ramona groaned, annoyed, as the seconds of silence she had were interrupted by sounds of button mashing, shouting, corny sensei lines, cheering, and that annoying-ass music.

"No fair!" Sam yelled, "You keep winning!"

Scott chuckled. "Years of training have prepared me for this battle."

"Stop talking like that. It's weird. Let's play again!"

"Fine. But this time, we'll play co-op."

"You can do that?" The ten-year-old was beyond ecstatic.

"With a classic game, you can do anything."

Ramona shook her head again. She hoped Sam would grow up to be more like his mother. The world already had one Scott Pilgrim. It didn't need another.

Sam sighed in frustration. "Why do I have to play the smaller guy? He's weaker!"

"I'm older. And I'm Player One. You can play him when you're my age."

"I'll _never_ be able to play him!"

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?"

The doorbell rang, putting a pause to the video game session.

Finally. Kim Pines makes her entrance! Ramona popped out of the room, happy to do anything but listen to father-son bonding time. "I'll get it!" She walked past Scott, Sam, and Gideon on the living room floor on her way to the door.

"But I don't want to go home yet!" Sam whined at Scott. "This is fun!"

Ramona grinned as she reached the door. I_ want you to go home_, _Sam_. _So _I _can have fun_. She twisted the doorknob and pulled the door open with a flourish.


End file.
